I will enjoy

Today I am learning that it is okay to have good days.  It is okay to enjoy time with Jacob, and with Matt.  It is okay to truly be happy and that does not disrespect our dear Micah or our dear Rene.  It is okay to laugh until I cry at Jacob's witty humor.  It is okay to rest.  It is okay to take a break from grieving and breathe.  It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt.  I doesn't mean that I have forgot or will forget our dear babies, but it reminds me there is still life, there is still hope, there is still love.  If I was forced to forget our dear babies, I couldn't, they are entwined with me and a part of who I am and who I am becoming.  Therefore, I cannot forget them by accident, so it's okay, I think it's okay... it needs to be okay to take a breath and to enjoy.